让我们彼此听见 - 青少年与父母沟通座谈之二

每个人都渴望，也值得被听见，被看见，被理解。

即使你不同意他/她的观点，你也有能力去听见，看见和理解他/她。而你对他/她的听见和看见，对他/她意义非凡。

这个听见和理解对方的能力，每个人生而有之，但随着岁月的磨砺被我们逐渐淡忘。今天让我们再次尝试将它拾起。

心空间邀请三位青少年（13岁及以上）和他们的父/母来参加 “让我们彼此听见” 的座谈。

本次活动由非暴力沟通培训师候选人Julia Shen协调主持。根据参与者的语言能力，活动将以双语（英语+中文）的方式进行。

活动规则：

每对青少年与父母，每次就一件具体的冲突来发言。每次发言时，一方先表达，另一方尝试全神贯注地聆听。当另一方开始发言之前，把刚才听到的对方的表达复述一下（不须复述全部，只须把所听到的任何一点复述出来即可），直到对方说他/她感到被听见了。然后另一方开始发言。Julia 会提供帮助和演示同理倾听。

本次活动的目的，并非是解决每一个冲突关系中的具体问题，而是：

• 创建一个安全的空间，让在那些具体问题上持不同意见的青少年与父母尝试彼此听见，看见，理解和尊重
• 在冲突的关系中，让每个人尝试去连接我们身而为人所共通的感受和需要
• 学习并练习，如何在不同意对方具体观点的情况下，仍然能带着同理心和慈悲，去与对方一起探索更多可能满足双方需要的解决方案
• 去了解，当我们能倾听彼此并连接到我们共通的人性时，我们就能看到更多的可能性去解决我们所面临的具体问题

本次活动免费，允许观众旁听。不会有对外公布的录像或录音。参加对话的三对父母与青少年会收到活动录像。

活动时间：暂定（美东时间）周日12月27日晚7-9点。会根据三对父母与青少年的时间进行调整。

本轮首先招募参加对话的父母与青少年。招募到三对父母与青少年后才会对外开放报名旁听。请报名参加对话的父母与青少年直接联系Julia 微信: juliashen_TO

【本次活动受非暴力沟通培训师 John Kinyon's Across The Aisle project 启迪，在此表达诚挚的感恩。】

如果您想邀请参加活动的青少年不能阅读本页的中文，这里有一个英文版邀请。

Hello, 

My name is Julia Shen and I’m a communication trainer.  I'm hosting a Zoom meeting for parents to communicate with their teens.

The main reason that I host this event is, I truly believe that everyone deserves to be heard, be seen and be understood.

Is there anything you want your parents to understand, but you don’t feel they get it yet? And/or, is there anything you want to share, so that other parents can learn to improve the relationship with their children?

Please consider my invitation to come to the “Let’s hear each other” event and speak up for yourself.

The How:

You and one of your parents, (together with other two pairs of parent & teen) will have conversations, in front of an audience of other parents (who are longing to learn from you), and a facilitator (which is myself).

When it’s time for you and your parent to talk, I invite either of you to speak, one at a time, while everyone else listens. When it is the next person’s turn to speak, this next person will show hearing and understanding of what the previous speaker just said, even when there is strong disagreement, by reflecting back what they heard that person say, until that person says they feel heard.

Please keep in mind, you do not need to agree to what your parent said. The ask is that everyone reflects back what the other person just said, even if you don't agree (I'll demenstrate what "reflect" means). It's important to keep in mind that, reflecting what others say does NOT mean that we agree (or disagree) with their opinion. Also note that you don’t have to remember everything they said. Reflecting any point you pick up from them would be great.

I as the facilitator, will do my best to model and demonstrate empathic listening (which is separate from agreement or disagreement) for what people are saying.

The Goal of this event is not to resolve any specific issue. Instead, is

• To create a safe space for people with different opinions to feel heard, understood and valued by each other
• To connect with our common humanity underlying our differences
• To practice together how we can disagree with empathy and compassion, and work together to explore ideas and solutions
• To show what’s possible when we listen to each other and find our common humanity

Every voice matters. I look forward to hearing from you.

Warmly，

Julia